Posted by susan (admin)
Oct 19, 2009 4:11 pm

Replies (27)

Posted by

• "Fiddle dee dee," exclaimed Scarlett, as the Queen sipped from the delicate china cup,
  "how can a girl ever expect to catch a husband if all she's got in front of her is this watered down substitution for a fine southern drink? "

  Oct 20, 2009 12:53 pm
  by buetow63

• Ed Gein Does Tea with the Queen:
  With a sly arch of the brow, he replied, "No crumpets for me, thanks ... but I'd love some of those lady fingers."

  Oct 20, 2009 3:22 pm
  by hkschoof

• hkschoof: hahahaha. That's great!

  Oct 20, 2009 4:14 pm
  by cresswga

• A Tea-Time Compliment from Owen Meany:
  "YOUR MAJESTY HAS THE BEST BREASTS OF ALL THE QUEEN MOTHERS!"

  Oct 20, 2009 4:47 pm
  by hkschoof

• I knew the dame was something special when, from the window of my office, I saw her show up in an open top horse drawn carridge escorted by some moke in an overdecorated military uniform that wouldn't have looked out of place flagging down cabs outside the Ritz. It was four in the afternoon and I was ready to knock off for the day, but the broad had said she wanted to discuss a job over tea in my office.
  
  The door to the inner office opened and my secretary followed the doll and her doorman in. The doorman said "This is Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second."
  
  Yeah, and I'm Pius the Twelth, I thought. Aloud I said with a sigh, "Ok Liz, pull up a chair and tell me what the Hammer Investigative Agency can do for you."

  Oct 20, 2009 4:55 pm
  by Golem100

• "Tea? Cake? Bread and butter? Jam? Scone?" said the Queen, but, "I would prefer not to," was all Bartleby the Scrivener would say.

  Oct 20, 2009 5:21 pm
  by pmilton

• Tea, Her Magesty asked.
  
  I wish I could quit you, Queenie, shouted Ennis Del Mar

  Oct 20, 2009 5:42 pm
  by nothingpetty

• "It is an honor to meet you and share a cup of tea. I am an admirer of Sherlock Holmes, Scottland Yard, and the methods of scientific investigation perfected in your country. If you come to visit my detective agency in Botswanna, we can share a cup of Bush tea and some cake with raising." Mme Precious Ramotswe

  Oct 20, 2009 7:37 pm
  by JennyIL

• Oops. Forgot about the one sentence rule.

  Oct 20, 2009 9:47 pm
  by Golem100

• "I'll take half a cup," the Mad Hatter said. He sawed the cup in half as the Queen watched, horrified.

  Oct 20, 2009 11:51 pm
  by saturntv

• Ignatius J. Riley offers the queen a hot dog, "Why madam, do you not agree that the United States needs some theology and geometry, some taste and decency?"

  Oct 21, 2009 1:28 am
  by mdawn315

• Leaving the stunned doorman behind her, she nodded a greeting to the lady in front of her, and said: Thank you ma'm, we don't take sugar, we don't, we Loch Ness monsters.

  Oct 21, 2009 2:35 am
  by Heylane

• "Thank you, your majesty," Obama said as he received the sparkling white cup from the royal hands and said, "Getting back to the leasing of the British Isles to us, surely you have thought about the fact that you have no choice? We just want the United Kingdom to be more contemporary and a part of the United States. Kingdoms are long gone, your majesty," ending the last phrase with a wiry smile that befits a Nobel Laureate.

  Oct 21, 2009 2:48 am
  by Dhimant

• The Queen was NOT amused, as her tea party split to pieces, because Dr. Jekyll could not constrain Mr. Hyde.

  Oct 21, 2009 8:31 am
  by dreamdust

• The Queen blushed, poured him a cup of tea and admonished, "Dear Henry, please watch your language", and continued to discuss the Tropics.

  Oct 21, 2009 9:43 am
  by katefox

• Bugs Bunny was immediately deported after insulting and assaulting Her Majesty, using his old gag of offering sugar with her tea and asking, "How many lumps would you like with that?"

  Oct 21, 2009 11:08 am
  by Monkeys6

• Tom Baker (as Dr. Who) shakes Her Majesty's hand and offers jelly babies in a distracted manner.

  Oct 21, 2009 1:54 pm
  by kwkslvr

• "The Lunatic Does the Queen"
  
  Having grown tired of crumpets, the Queen decided to serve cake and much to Her Majesty's surprise as she started to cut the cake the most promient of rakes, Jack the Ripper, intoned smoothly, "That's alright Queen Mum, I'll do the cutting - do come closer."

  Oct 21, 2009 3:12 pm
  by Christ7

• As she gazed appreciatively at the mighty chest of Conan the Cimmerian the queen decided that, yes, he was right, tea was fit only for dandified Stygian wizards.

  Oct 22, 2009 12:58 pm
  by Golem100

• "Jeet yet?" Jeff Foxworthy asked the queen as she stared at him in complete incomprehension.

  Oct 22, 2009 1:00 pm
  by Golem100

• "Are you alright Mr. Lovecraft?" the Queen asked after Howard began shaking upon hearing her description of stars' strange configuration of the previous night.

  Oct 22, 2009 1:04 pm
  by Golem100

• "Fqwwl y'engmm, mglwfftg mowll *" Cthulhu said to the Queen as the clock on the royal mantel struck 5 o'clock.
  
  Translation: Pardon me your Majesty, but I must make a quick call.

  Oct 22, 2009 1:36 pm
  by Golem100

• Charlie Allnut doctored his tea with whiskey from a flask and muttered, "I had a boat named the Queen, once."

  Oct 22, 2009 4:24 pm
  by pmilton

• The Queen offered up some tea to the character saying "we wants it, we needs it" and before she knew it Gollum whispered "My Preciousss" as he jumped up to grab the sparkling...

  Oct 23, 2009 8:47 am
  by artiahc

• "Well," Alice said as she stared at the Queen in bemusement, "At least you yourself don't seem to go around telling people to chop of their heads all the time, Your Majesty," and she smoothed the frock of her pinafore primly. "How bizarre it is to be with normal people! I've been half expecting the Cheshire Cat to show up ever since I got back!"

  Oct 24, 2009 12:19 pm
  by penwiper

• "Gosh all hemlock!" Cap exclaimed, as his rough paw enveloped the fragile china cup.

  Nov 1, 2009 7:26 am
  by lafftur

• "There seems to have been some kind of mistake", muttered the Queen, shifting nervously in her seat as she eyed Robespierre across a plate of elegantly set out cakes.

  Nov 1, 2009 12:29 pm
  by tomsan